9/17/2021
Today was interesting. It was the last day of block one classes, and I was about thirty minutes tardy to our last on-site class. There was a transportation strike today, so I had to walk 50 minutes just to get to class which was held inside the Pantheon today. It was also raining, I had on black jeans and I was cramping, all great reasons to just turn over in my bed and skip class. Anyway, I finally caught up with the class, and we continued to walk around and I noticed people staring at me. The class isn’t small(over twenty people) so I’ve always wondered why I’m always the object of staring. The other black girl in the program is in my class and I've noticed nobody looks at her hardly as much as they do me. So anyway, after class I went to Rossopromodo and got a margherita pizza and some white wine. I ate outside, and it was so good and really refreshing. I walked halfway home and stopped to do some shopping for my family at a souvenir shop, stopped at OVS to buy a few items, and finally stopped at a street market to buy an outfit. After finishing my small shopping spree, I continued to walk home. When I got about 10 minutes away from my apartment, I noticed 2 guys about to walk past me. I saw them both looking at me, but hey, I’ve been getting looked at all day. Plus it’s literally 2 I’m the afternoon and I’m walking in an area where other people are seated outside and eating. As I walk past the guys, one reaches out and touches my face and breast. I immediately turn around and hit him and start yelling some choice words. They started running away, and the people sitting around just looked, but nobody made any effort to intervene. They looked at me like I was the one in the wrong for defending myself in this situation, especially when I knew that no one else would. I cried on the rest of my way home, not even caring that people would be staring. I called my mom and told her what happened and then my study abroad advisor. It’s very tiring for me to always have to be cautious around the general public only because my skin color and beauty causes me to be a target. Like literally, I’m a natural loner, and mind my business almost all of the time. I don’t want to live my remainder of my study abroad experience in constant fear that someone will do something to me. I feel like if an Italian BOY can reach out to touch me not knowing who I am or without my consent, it tells me all he thinks about a black woman. That we are passive, worthless and interactive sexual museums. There is no "touch me" sign written anywhere on my body, so why would you feel comfortable with touching me? Like I literally had on a regular crew neck tshirt, jeans and sneakers. When I reached out to someone very close to me and told them about the situation, they told me to dress modestly in order to not give them any reason to target me 🥲🥲🥲 I swear I feel like I’m drowning. Because it doesn't matter what I wear, how my hair looks or if I have makeup on. I am target because I am a black woman, the most disrespected creature in the world.
Walking home from leaving my class in my "Everything's gonna be alright" shirt.
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